Sunday, September 7, 2014

Day 246

Everything changes.

I guess it just makes it more interesting.

A little more challenging.

A lot more difficult.

My AF has been in pound-mode the last two days. Heart making a relentless solid effort to escape the chest cavity by beating through the membrane. As the saying goes, like a big bass drum. It shakes like an earthquake, rumbles, backfires, kicks like a mule.

It saps my energy, sends electrical pings up my neck and into my head, blurs my vision and churns my gut.

But it never hurts. I am constantly on edge, thinking that the next ping might be the big one, but I am able to function. Barely.

Yesterday was long and stressful. I slept little. Today started at 0400. I felt better but by mile 50 and hour 3 of the bike, pushing the little 50c scooter as hard as I could to stay ahead of the leader, I could feel the toll it was taking on my endurance.

I started to talk to myself. Stay with it. Hang in there. Keep your focus. Relax, Stay strong. You can do this.

Was I racing or working?

When the symptoms of Atrial Fibrillation take over, with me, they take over everything.

Makes no difference if I am sitting atop a scooter or my TT bike.

Everything changes.

1 comment:

ej said...

I wonder what Frozen is doing these days?