1.1.15

I walk this beach for the first time, amazed and awed. Orange, pink, crimson and vermilion masterfully dabbed on a pallet in need of no frame. Impressionistic as Seurat might appreciate, even Renoir. Yet there is something more. I feel the flow of wind and sea, waves relentless in their swell and sweep. I hear the cry of hungry gulls amid the deep hum of approaching aircraft. I watch all this and walk on the amber sand dodging scallops and the occasional oyster cage.

I am part of this. I am here. It is New Year's Eve at sunset. I made it through another calendar year and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to experience the passage of time. Immediately I recognize the irony in this. It was a trying and troubling twelve months. It started with pain and it ended with suffering. Yet, I stand here admiring the sunset. I consider the meaning of all this as I try to walk light, leaving no footprint.

The meaning of all this.

I haven't a clue. Self awareness? Experience? Growth? Service? The search for happiness?

There needs to be change, I need to take command of the situation and push forward with an intrepid sense of adventure. I know that particular synergy fills my soul with gladness and contentment. There needs to be flow, days on the wax and nights of wane. I must relax into the reality of eternity. My here and now needs belief, hope and trust to be of utility. This has to be central, beyond doubt, a commandment so firm and unshakable that a million dollars could not buy.

This has a chance to be special, this day, this hour, this minute. I will let the year unfold on its own. I simply want this second, this walk on this beach. I have been here before in one sense. The already seen sunset. Yet I am totally a different person than the last time. And that changes everything. The empty cup of wanderlust and appreciation waiting to be again re-filled. I see all this.

For the first time.