Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Day 227. A long way from over

By almost all accounts, I am feeling better with each passing day. There remains some odd chest pains, an abnormal heart rate or two, some interesting readings from various devices and the sporadic tinge of neural imbalance, but for the most part these are all manageable and tolerable. The big issue is that the ablation procedure seems to have been a success AND that I am back to 'normal' training.

Seriously, that is huge news. I am elated. I would be jumping up and down if my lags hadn't atrophied so dramatically over the last eighteen months since the ER scramble hot-wired the quest for diagnosis.

It has been a frustratingly dark and trying time. The question is now, was that it, did the node cauterization correct the issue (A-fib)? And if so, how long will it last?

Considering the depth of carnage suffered during this process, I should be happy to be as healthy as I am, after all I am alive, right? I can work. But you know that isn't where my, ahem, heart, is. That just isn't good enough, to simply get by.

It is like taking up space. I am not a part of the solution.

There has to be meaning. There must be a goal. I thrive on challenge and growth. Duh.

Making this a magical opportunity to deal with circumstance and get back in the game.

Because this one is a LONG way from over.

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