Day 10.207 The Bus Came By

Last night I was in doubt. One of those 'I am nowhere near worthy' of the creative requirements the new gig demands. I think at one point or another, about one thing or another, we all have feelings of inadequacy. I don't know, maybe not -or- maybe those that either have no fear of failure or have successfully dealt with it are what we call champions.

Because let's face it, the few that get to the top of the mountain have successfully negotiated with their fears, of one type or another. There isn't a lot of air up there for one thing. That is excuse enough for many.

As I went into rest and recovery mode, sleep, these negatives sprang up from behind and knocked my to the curb. A bus was passing and I went under. My confidence and attitude was bent and bleeding. It was horrible, the feeling of not being good enough. Bloody hell as the Brits say.

It lasted about twenty minutes. An inferno of doubt. Did I just toss five large out the window? Can I really do this?

At minute twenty-one I rolled out from under the bus and came to.

DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN. YOU CAN DO IT. AND IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE AT THIS POINT WHAT PEOPLE MAY THINK ABOUT YOUR WORK. JUST GET IT DONE.

At minute twenty-two I fell into an uneasy slumber. I was bothered. I knew the bus would be coming around again soon. It was nightmarish, like a bad bike wreck.

At minute twenty-three, on the corner of REM and Main, the bus came by.

And I got on.