Day 9.176 Our Response-Ability

Not bad, I think in a sarcastic tone, ironically to myself. It's not even seven and I have already fucked up twice. Not bad at all.

In both circumstances I have made restitution in a repentant voice, sincerely and urgently trying to move forward. The learn from mistakes thing. The definition of insanity being doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results thing. The how could I be so stupid thing. Know them?

Here is what I learned:

Silence is golden.

I am getting better at it. I sense it more often and provide some buffer space but every so often (Wednesdays) I get trapped, and captured, by my apparent inner need to interpret data and respond in less than a heartbeat. Some people are good at it. Bill Buchanan was. I am not. I suppose the good news is that I recognize this character flaw and feel absolutely horrible almost immediately afterwards, every-single-time.

On the other hand, I have always been a risk taker. I accept the possibility, inevitability?, of the potential for disaster, and press onward nonetheless. Sometimes I am rewarded. If growth and the learning process count as rewards, I am one rich son of a gun.

This morning in our seventh session of Super 8s, under the duress of maximum effort for thirty seconds on set two, coupled with the endorphin flow from set one, I had an interesting thought. Oxygenated bold flow to Mr Gray Brain is wonderful alchemy.

We talk a lot about the response. Exercise physiology suggests, demands, that a worthwhile protocol is one that creates challenge. Ups the resistance, cadence, wattage and duration ante until there remains but two options;

1 - Back off, slow down or otherwise adjust, or,
2 - Quit and go home.

Meaning that our margin of progress through this process is one's ability to manage the response. How do we respond to challenge in its myriad forms? We know that we improve as a result of successful management. In some circles it is called grace under fire. Suffering in others. Champions know this and leverage the skill in both battle and business. She who slows last, wins (all other variables being equal).

Our ability in response.

Is our responsibility.

It is our responsibility to manage the protocol. To get the job done. To adapt, to grow and to lead.

And when, for reasons that span from the misdemeanors of the past to the realities of the present to our aspirations for the future, we mess up along that path, our responsibility is to make it right.

Regardless of the time of day.

Caption: Spike says he takes full responsibility for the dead rat.