I am glad today that I need to stay busy. For two primary reasons:
1) Left to my thoughts I would stew in a sea of sorrow,
2) There is lots to do.
Like the air and water we discussed in class this morning, they are the basics, the foundation from which we build. We breathe, relax, re-construct in a balanced growth zone. A mode of movement. Not rushed, or hurried, more like perpetual power released as required. Played out over time. Maybe one day, maybe one event, one ride, one race.
Maybe one life.
Regardless of my personal melodrama, life will go on. It becomes my challenge to sustain a focus on what I can control, namely, me. My air and my water. My awareness, my thoughts. That mixture will eventually manifest as my actions, and much like an athlete looking for personal records, the clearer I think, the more oxygen I can successfully integrate with my movement, the cleaner and purer my intake of water, the greater my chances are of success. If I can somehow add a few of the other components we so diligently practice, speed, power, grace, balance, endurance and gratitude, this day will pass as successful. As will the next.
I also suspect that one day in the not too distant future I will be out there on some long course, perhaps under a bright sun and surrounded by others all wanting what I want, and look back on this day, happy that I was able to cope. To rise to the occasion and keep the faith and focus. To let love win.
Not let something silly slow me down or cause a scurried sprint to addictive behavior.
Stay focused. Keep moving. Do your best. Clean your heart and sweep your soul. Stay in the present moment, do not allow the mistakes of the past to affect your ability to use this present as a gift.
There is your future.
Breath the air. Relax. Drink the water. Refresh. Let go.
Then get after it. No matter the temporary pain, grasshopper, this is part of that.
Footnote: The following quote was sent to me Saturday by a great friend, who would not be surprised in the least as to its ironic timeliness.
"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race"
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