Thursday, August 16, 2012
No banana for you
A couple of quotes before I light out for missive island.
Great expectations create great disappointments. Anon.
It's not the end of the world. ibid.
I will not be racing Ironman Canada this year. There, it has been verbalized and shared. The reasons behind this are myriad. It is a long story. It has its moments of pathos and drama. It is important only to me. The story is mostly comical, in a paradoxical and ironic way. Mostly it's simply pathetic. I made some foolish decisions which all returned to haunt. The vibration of this will not cause any butterflies to die nor instigate a hurricane in the Midwest or a drought in China. In the bigger picture, nobody will even know, let alone care. In such a snit about forfeiting the $600 entry fee, missing a great opportunity to qualify for Kona and not partaking in the 30th anniversary of this truly special event, mostly I am devastated and humiliated in the fact that, above all, I have let a lot of people down and turned what could have been a unique opportunity into an embarrassing disappointment. I have failed. I did not get to the start line. That is job one. Be prepared and show up.
Perhaps time will heal this wound. I will not give up. There is no quit. I will live to race again. It simply will not be this year. I will go to Kona again in October, work the expo, and witness on race day another spirited duel between and among the best triathletes in the world. I will again be inspired and motivated to continue what I began in 1994. I should be happy that I can still do this, grateful for the chance. Instead I feel like a baboon. Lying on the canvas, dizzy and bruised by a flurried combination of political reality and divine comedy, I have but one choice:
Get up and get on. Learn from it. Take the lesson, leave the blood on the tracks.
I remain greatly disappointed. Oh, well, so what. I have been here before. Most likely will be again. What I don't want to be is a disappointment to those that have been supportive in so many ways along this rocky road. To you I offer my sincere apologies. We will just have to delay our shared gratification and victory a little while longer. I am using this as motivation. It is merely another hurdle along the same path. We will get there. Nobody ever said that one foot after the other meant in a straight line.
And when we do get there, this latest round of disappointment will have played a major part. I STILL have great expectations. There will be additional disappointments. I will not throw the towel, nor allow my friends, teammates or allies to. It is not the end of the world….
It is the start.
Postscript: I realize that there are details omitted in the above missive. The, what happened?, for example. Let me summarize by saying that a 'misunderstanding' between myself and the Canadian agency controlling the fence between our countries temporarily prohibits my south to north passage. I guess I gave the wrong answer when asked if I had issues with authority. This will change and life will go on. The change, however frustratingly, will not happen by Sunday the 26th.
In closing, I wish the very best of luck and God speed to all my friends who will be racing this year. Have a great day in Penticton and enjoy every mile.
I will return.