Thursday, August 16, 2012

No banana for you

A couple of quotes before I light out for missive island. 

Great expectations create great disappointments. Anon.

It's not the end of the world. ibid.
I will not be racing Ironman Canada this year. There, it has been verbalized and shared. The reasons behind this are myriad. It is a long story. It has its moments of pathos and drama. It is important only to me. The story is mostly comical, in a paradoxical and ironic way. Mostly it's simply pathetic. I made some foolish decisions which all returned to haunt. The vibration of this will not cause any butterflies to die nor instigate a hurricane in the Midwest or a drought in China. In the bigger picture, nobody will even know, let alone care. In such a snit about forfeiting the $600 entry fee, missing a great opportunity to qualify for Kona and not partaking in the 30th anniversary of this truly special event, mostly I am devastated and humiliated in the fact that, above all, I have let a lot of people down and turned what could have been a unique opportunity into an embarrassing disappointment. I have failed. I did not get to the start line. That is job one. Be prepared and show up. 

Perhaps time will heal this wound. I will not give up. There is no quit. I will live to race again. It simply will not be this year. I will go to Kona again in October, work the expo, and witness on race day another spirited duel between and among the best triathletes in the world. I will again be inspired and motivated to continue what I began in 1994. I should be happy that I can still do this, grateful for the chance. Instead I feel like a baboon. Lying on the canvas, dizzy and bruised by a flurried combination of political reality and divine comedy, I have but one choice:

Get up and get on. Learn from it. Take the lesson, leave the blood on the tracks. 

I remain greatly disappointed. Oh, well, so what. I have been here before. Most likely will be again. What I don't want to be is a disappointment to those that have been supportive in so many ways along this rocky road. To you I offer my sincere apologies. We will just have to delay our shared gratification and victory a little while longer. I am using this as motivation. It is merely another hurdle along the same path. We will get there. Nobody ever said that one foot after the other meant in a straight line. 

And when we do get there, this latest round of disappointment will have played a major part. I STILL have great expectations. There will be additional disappointments. I will not throw the towel, nor allow my friends, teammates or allies to. It is not the end of the world….

It is the start. 

Postscript: I realize that there are details omitted in the above missive. The, what happened?, for example. Let me summarize by saying that a 'misunderstanding'  between myself and the Canadian agency controlling the fence between our countries temporarily prohibits my south to north passage. I guess I gave the wrong answer when asked if I had issues with authority. This will change and life will go on. The change, however frustratingly, will not happen by Sunday the 26th. 

In closing, I wish the very best of luck and God speed to all my friends who will be racing this year. Have a great day in Penticton and enjoy every mile. 

I will return. 


Tom said...

I'm really sorry to hear that Kevin and you've let nobody down. There's no doubt you'll return with increased vigor and focus.

Bob P said...

As you've said before, its really a personal journey - the only expectations are those we set for ourselves. I know you must be disappointed, but there will be other races - perhaps one on this side of the border! I guess I no longer need to worry about looking over my shoulder, waiting for that inevitable moment after T1 when you come flying by me on the bike...I was kind of looking forward to it.

KML5 said...

Thanks for the kind words guys. Increased vigor and focus I like. Bob, your mission is to kill Yellow Lake!! Go get 'em.

SHR said...

Such a bummer! I know you were looking forward to IMC. Find another red letter'll get there next year! Just think, we all have a full year to save for Kona to cheer you on!
Good luck to Bob!

KML5 said...

I have been saying 'next year' for way too long, BUT, you're right, next year!! This will actually give me some additional pool time....Thanks

ej said...

Did you tell them you might vote for Romney or what?

KML5 said...

I know better than THAT!!! at least