Monday, May 4, 2015
Day 5.124 Up the River REM
It was one of those vividly erotic moments when all the senses are involved. This is good for two reasons, one being the obvious, I slept well. This despite the violence of the final episode of Season Two. Jack, with the ballsy permission of Chase, used an emergency fire ax to remove the Cordelia Virus apparatus secured to Chase's wrist. It is such a powerful scene, followed two minutes later, after the success of Jack's heroics had again saved the States from an ugly viral catastrophe, by the close-up demonstration of Jack's humanity as he sat and sobbed to wrap the season. As I laid my weary bones to rest I thought about how meaningless and boring my life is compared to a CTU agent in field ops. I then slept.
I am leaving a house that I built. It has deep emotional meaning but I know I have to let it go and detach. I have to go. It is raining hard, pouring and flooding the streets. There are people in the house but I cannot completely identify them, others are coming in and I can't tell if I am hosting a party or a wake. I step outside and the street is a river. It is sunrise, black, gray and blue. The river is white-capped, running hard downhill. I start to wade and realize that I have my bedroom slippers on and that they are soaked weighing me down as I struggle to keep head above water. I look upstream and backlit in the moon-set she is standing and watching. I start to swim upstream like a salmon returning home. She is a hundred yards away but I can see her aura and hear her soft voice, encouraging and supportive. I can feel the glow of her love. I have to get there. Whatever it takes. The water is now warm and sensual. I am swimming with grace and power towards her. I am almost there. I want her with every cell in my body.
The laughing iPhone shakes me awake. It is 0430.