Friday, October 24, 2008
Right before falling asleep last night I did a review of the day. I started out by checking things off the list, giving them a grade, and then seeing if there was any follow up work, or any additional phases remaining or necessary. There usually is. It was rolling along pretty good. I felt like a character in The Decalogue movie series I was watching. And then a funny, unintentional thing happened to this mental visualization exercise, I remembered that I have been doing this for many years, and it first started when I was instructed by the Nuns at my Catholic grammar school, and reinforced by my parents, to say 'my prayers' before going to sleep every night. They even made suggestions as to what prayers should be about. Because it is a deep abstraction for an six year old to have sufficient understanding of the world to pray for change. So God Bless Mom and Dad, and my sisters and brothers was usually the extent of my prayers. A lot changed over the years. Sleeping with others impacts your opportunity to spend a few minutes in gratitude prior to REM, and when there wasn't a partner it was usually because a pill or potion had replaced a person. Tough to pray while sedated. And then meditation replaced prayer, a more "pragmatic" connection to the spiritual, it seemed (and seems). Fifty years passed. Poof.
Then last night I again prayed a little. And it felt good. I need practice but this was a start. It was cathartic. It went something like this:
Oh, Great Spirit, hey there, it's me.
Thanks for all your help and support.
I really appreciate all the challenges, and headaches and issues you give me on a daily basis to sort out and work through.
And thanks for all the beauty, and the many people I love.
And thanks for the people that I don't understand, cause I know that they are here for me to learn from.
And thanks for my health, except you might ease off the pain in by back, that would be cool.
And thanks for letting Dad hang around so long after Moms death. That helps.
And thanks for my brothers and sisters, and niece and nephews. And for all my friends in the industry and at the club.
And thanks for tele-marketers who let me practice patience.
And PLEASE don't let some wacko hurt Obama.
And help me to forgive the fucking idiots who will vote for McCain.
And give me strength to finish my work.
And courage to face my demons.
And love to cheer others.
And wisdom to see how best to help heal the planet.
And please let the boss see the value in the latest project proposal.
And let my roof repairs keep a little less rain out this winter.
And keep the Exploder running just one more year.
And please, PLEASE help the Huskies beat Notre Dame tomorrow.
And good night.