Amen Brother

199.

I am in the noon session doing the therapeutic two-step. I am now measuring progress in terms of hours not weeks, using a clock instead of a calendar. I have the mojo, motivation and purpose. I can feel sweet satori returning.

Today during the balance phase of each movement, the space allowed for imagination, contemplation and formulation of the plan, I am presented with a Zen koan, a riddle forcing thoughts without a thinker.

The riddle is in the form of a question. It asks me - or am I asking It? - about the sincerity, the altruistic, true nature of my deepest motivation. The banal translation to English asks, 'why are you doing this?'

Because its my job?
Because I get paid to do it?
Because I am good at it?
Because it is my only tangible skill?
Because I can?
Because I am warrior paying back karmic dues?
Because I took an oath to defend our system of rules and laws?
Because of a code?

I hear a sound that stirs an image of wind over a field of mature tasseled corn. Meditative now I continue the practice, forcing the image to black. I can answer the riddle by affirming what it is not. Stripping away the possibilities, eliminating the spin, the subjective, the mythical, the unkind and harmful, exploitative and manipulative, eventually leaves nothing but the naked truth, like the cob of an ear of corn.  

"Let us be clear that this is NOT about revenge. It is about justice."

"Amen, brother," says Harlan.