The Best of Them

 292.

I can play dumb with the best of them.

It has been my experience that the surest approach to gaining privileged information is to allow space. Quiet space. Humans, as a rule, dislike, distaste and disdain silence. It is awkward. Sitting opposite someone, the more power they wield the more likely they are to share examples of it, can be like listening to a yogi talk about the meaning of life. In the circumstance I currently find myself, seated six distanced feet across an barren desk from Senator Hartaugh, my tongue is almost bleeding from the sustained bite. A cartoon might show me offering sufficient rope for the occasion, in my mind a hanging, but in his, a haranguing. I try to keep the idea of the set-up and eventual take-down out of my mind to keep any semblance of a Cheshire cat-like grin from my face as I beg him to continue through my muteness.

"Because the trip is campaign specific and has the potential to deviate from standard operating procedure [he gives me a cock-headed, eyebrow raised nod and wink] we will not be bringing any tax-payer funded security along, meaning I am putting you and your team, of whatever number you determine appropriate, in total charge of it," he confides, linguistically moving closer to the gallows with every word.

I nod in solemn approval and wordlessly ask him to continue.

"The fact that I will me meeting with a powerful donor of, shall we say, non-traditional business arenas, although we have been on the same wavelength for many years, represents a PR challenge that we would prefer not to publicly engage in."

I again return the nod of understanding. Slowly this time as if playing the tapes back to ensure all innuendo and nuance is properly understood.

"Your security brief raised a number of red flags in regard [he uses this word as if it were pronounced closer to beauregard, french for handsome] to our new partner, Mr Goldson. I am going to press the issue of his association with far-right leaning groups and organizations," He secures the rope, "all for the best interests of our cause, the party and our patriot constituency."

It takes all my verve and will-power to keep from putting my cane upside his head, but I let him sinch the hangman's noose even tighter.

"Your directive is uncommonly simple, keep any media capturing devices, and by that I mean, cameras, recorders, media and uninvited parties outside a perimeter that we will establish. That and ensure our physical safety at all times. Do you think you can provide that service sir?" He asks.

I answer, "With pleasure sir," like the best of them.