You are thinking about going to the library this morning for research? Downloading a Googled PDF of a hundred pages? Scouring the white paper and abstracts again? One-click ordering (with Prime) that obscure manual from Amazon.com?
Maybe you should go for a hamburger instead.
New research data suggests that people who read too much are in danger of entering an "over-reading" zone, similar to the recently documented "over-training syndrome" for athletes and people attempting to simply add some exercise to an otherwise sedentary lifestyle.
"Our case studies suggest that people who read too much, for scholastic as well as entertainment purposes, face a 12% higher chance of vision problems after the age of 80, than those who's (sic) last book read was in junior high", claims lead researcher Dr. Leonard T. Tool, "the general population needs to be aware of these important recent trends, and take the necessary precautions."
"People think that just because they were given a pair of eyes at birth that they can use them, unlimited, for life. They read newspapers, magazines, on-line, novels, textbooks, paperbacks, and now even on electronic portable devices. You can over-read the same way you can over-train. And we need to get the message out that there is danger in going the extra page, the same way as going the extra mile," continued Tool.
According to the latest data, 76% of the American population over the age of 80 needs corrective lenses, a figure that has remained constant since records began being recorded, 1948.
"We aren't saying DON'T READ, we are simply asking for a little moderation. Don't read too much, and don't run too far," finished Dr. Tool, "Personally I'd trade a tome like War and Peace, for the Cliff Notes, run for office instead of a marathon, and drive to the corner burger joint with 20/20 hindsight. Moderation is the key."
Funding for the study by The Kroc Foundation.
Satire by RCVman.